


There He Goes Up In The Sky

by samelove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Illness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 09:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samelove/pseuds/samelove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall loves Liam. Liam loves Niall. The other is oblivious about the other's feelings. <br/>PS: I suck at summaries so if you want, just read the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There He Goes Up In The Sky

**Author's Note:**

> as usual, this was not proofread so there are a lot of grammatical errors.

We have been best friends since we were seven and up to now I still wonder why he never told me?

FLASHBACK.

7 yrs. old.

I was really excited knowing that our new neighbours will be arriving today. My mom told me that they have a child with the same age as me. I hope we would be friends or much better, best friends. The kids in my school never liked me because I’m fat. They call me mean names but it’s okay because my mom always tells me that they are not true.

I was sitting in my room watching Disney Channel when I heard my mom knocking on my door. I quickly opened it and she told me that our new neighbours has have arrived. I rushed down to the stairs and walked out of our house. Then, I saw a boy who’s just about my age who has blue eyes and blonde hair. He noticed me looking at him and gave me this wonderful smile before he walked towards me.

“Hello! My name is Niall!” He said in a cheery tone while taking his hand out for a handshake.

“I’m Liam,” I replied and took his hand but instead of giving me a handshake, he pulled me in and gave me a hug. I was taken by surprise because none of my classmates have ever done that. The only people who hug me is my family. “We’re going to be best friends,” I heard him say.

15 yrs. old.

True to his word, we have been best friends for almost eight years already. We were inseparable. We were in the same group of friends and some people even jokes that we look like a couple. They were always teasing us but we always shrug it off by saying we were only best friends.

This might sound crazy but I knew that I loved him from the first time I met him. Well, at first I thought it was supposed to be that way, the feeling you have for your best friend but as I grow up, I realized that what I feel for him is the same way my mother feels for my father. I know it isn’t right so I have never acted upon my feelings.

When I was 13, my father told me that someday I’m going to build my own family and marry a lovely girl, that a boy should love a girl. He told me that it is unnatural for a boy to be in love with another boy. At that time, I wasn’t really sure what he was talking about and I didn’t have the nerves to ask him why. But now, I know the reason. It was that time that my feeling for Niall changed from platonic friendship to falling in love with him.

16 yrs. old.

It was Niall’s 16th birthday and there was a huge party. The two of us were in the popular group seeing that we both play soccer. I went to his house with my girlfriend. Yes, you’ve heard me right. I have a girlfriend now, her name is Danielle. And by the way, I lost my baby fat when I was 12.

Danielle is really a wonderful girl and I am really thankful to have her. I may not be in love with her but I love her and maybe someday those feelings will bloom.

Unlike me, Niall doesn’t have a girlfriend. I asked him once why he doesn’t try taking Allison on a date because that girl is crazy for him. He said that she wasn’t her type and that he’s saving his heart for the right one.

How I wish I could be that one but that could never happened because Niall is as straight as a pole. We talked about girls when we’re together and he always tell me how they are so beautiful or when he sees someone one caught his eye but whenever I ask him to go for it, he just shrugs me off saying that he doesn’t stand a chance.

The party was great and the people already left but I have stayed behind to help Niall clean even though I knew that their housemaids would clean it. I just needed a reason to stay behind and besides, I haven’t given my gift to him yet.

He was opening his present in his room while I was lying down on his bed. I can’t help but smile everytime his eyes light up when he opens his gift. There’s still that child I have met 9 years ago inside him. His carefree attitude and his smile that could bright up my whole day has never changed.

“Hey, what are you looking at?” Niall asked me with a smirk on his face while trying on his new pair of sunglasses.

“Well, can’t I look at my little leprechaun who looks so funny?” I said jokingly.

“I do not look funny with these,” he said while pouting his lips.

“Of course you do not, I’m just kidding, okay? You’re gorgeous, if that’s what you need to know,” I answered with a genuine smile on my face and is that a blush I see on Niall’s cheeks? He quickly turned away so I didn’t have the time to look at it more.

He finished opening all of his gifts and he looks at me before asking, “Where is my present?”

“What present?” I asked pretending not to know what he means.

“You haven’t given me my present yet.”

“Well, I’m not sure if I have bought one.”

“What? Don’t tell me you forgot to buy me a present because I’m going to throw you out of this window if you did and the fall would hurt, I assure you,” Niall said proudly.

“I’m just joking Ni, of course I bought you one.”

“So where is it?” He asked me.

I got up from his bed and walked to him. I stood behind him and got the dog tag from my pocket. I put it around his neck and whispered to his ear, “Happy Birthday Niall.”

I saw him looked at the dog tag and his eyes brightened up again. The dog tag that I gave him has our picture printed on it and at the back, “Best Friends Forever” was carved. He turned around and looked at me in the eyes.

“This is beautiful Li! Thank you so much!” He said and hugged me again. “You’re the greatest best friend ever, I love you.”

“I love you too Ni,” I replied to him. If only he knew that those words meant more than what he thinks.

17 yrs. old.

We were in our Junior Year and we have met these 2 seniors who have gained our trust so easily. Louis is the captain in our soccer team while Harry was the geeky student who tops the class. The two are a couple and everyone in the school knows that. They have been together for almost 3 years. They do get hate from time to time but they always say that as long as they are together, they could do it and those letters posted in their lockers doesn’t get them.

But in reality it was hard. There was one time when Harry invited me to his house. He told me everything that they were going through. They may seem like a happy couple from the public eyes but he said that it wasn’t really that easy. Even though most people know that Louis is off the market, he could see girls trying to flirt with him. And one time, they were playing spin the bottle with their friends, Louis and this girl named Eleanor kissed for a whole minute and it broke Harry’s heart to watch them so.

He started doubting Louis’ love for him when he saw the two of them walking on the streets while drinking Starbucks. Louis’ hand was intertwined with her when it was supposed to be him he was walking with. Louis didn’t even notice him when he passed by him because he was too busy talking with Eleanor.

It broke my heart to hear Harry talks about this. I can see how much the curly-haired boy love the soccer captain.

“How could I even be sure that he still loves me when he doesn’t even spend time with me anymore?” Harry asked him.

“Maybe, you should ask him about it.”

“And what if he says that he doesn’t love me anymore? I don’t think I can take it Li. I can’t imagine living a life without him. I love him so much.”

I’ve never been in this position so I didn’t know what to say. I love Niall but he doesn’t love me back so I never experienced this.

“I’m even saving myself for him. What if the reason he doesn’t like me anymore because I can’t fulfil his needs? I love him but I don’t think I’m ready to do that with him yet.”

“You know that Louis loves your right? I think that it would really be better if you talk to him. It’d for the best Harry.”

“Okay, I would talk to him then. Thanks Liam.”

The next day, Harry came to my place again but with a big smile on his face.

“Li! I’m so happy that I’ve followed your advice. We talked and everything it’s okay!”

“What about Eleanor?”

“Well, the truth is, Eleanor asked a favour of him to pretend that he’s her boyfriend because there’s this boy who has been stalking her.”

“So that’s it?”

“Well, Louis kind of asked for her help as well on picking a ring,” Harry said with a shy smile on his face.

“Ring? WAIT! Louis proposed to you?!” I asked him with surprise in my eyes.

“YES!” He answered while jumping around like a kid. “I need to go now, Louis is waiting for me. Bye!”

Liam picked up his phone and called Niall.

“LOUIS PROPOSED TO HARRY!” I shouted at the phone.

“Calm your horses Li! You don’t need to shout so loud!”

“Well, you’re the one who’s shouting now. I just can’t believe it, the two of them are perfect for each other.”

“I must agree with that and Louis has been planning on proposing for weeks already,” Niall said.

“How did you know that?” I asked.

“Well, he asked for my help loser!” Niall said proudly before hanging up.

“Bastard.”

18 yrs. old

We are now in our last year of highschool but suddenly Niall said that his family would be going back to Ireland. I asked him if they were coming back but he said that they wouldn’t. I felt the tears forming in my eyes and he noticed it too. I have broken up with Danielle last year and I was planning on telling Niall my feelings but I knew that long-distanced relationships won’t work so I kept my mouth shut.

It was finally the time for him and his family to go back to Ireland. I wanted to go with him to the airport but he told me not to come. We have said our last goodbyes in their house and I hugged him tightly. I never want to let him go and the tears were falling down from our faces.

“Do you really need to go Ni?” I asked him sadly.

“I have to Li. I’m sorry.”

“You’ll always be my best friend Niall and you’re one of the most important people in my life. I love you.”

“And you’re mine as well. I love you too Liam but please promise me something.”

“What is it?”

“That you’d never forget me,” Niall stated in a soft voice.

“Never.”

Two months have passed since Niall went away but since then, he has never replied to my texts or answered my calls. I was worried about him so much. He’s the one who told me not to forget him but now, he’s the one who’s ignoring me. I lay on my bed watching the ceiling while thinking of everything that we’ve been through. I just miss him so much.

“Liam, are you there?” I heard my mother ask from the other side of the door.

“Yes mom, what is it?”

She came inside and gave me a brown envelope. “There’s this letter for you and it’s from Niall.”

I got up from my bed and looked at the envelope. My Mom got out of the room and gave me a sad smile. What could this envelope contain? I opened it and there are these 3 letters and the dog tag that I gave to him. Why is he returning it to me? What have I done wrong? I decided to read the letter to know why.

1/13/12  
Dear Liam,

Hey Li! How are you? I just arrived at Ireland today. I never told you why I went back right? Well, the real reason is I need to go to the hospital. I haven’t been feeling well for the last few months. You might ask why I just didn’t go to a hospital there, well it’s because I didn’t want to see you suffer. I’ve been diabetic since I was a child. That’s a surprise isn’t it? Seeing how much I love eating sweets and chocolates. Well, that’s just the way it is. I just want to tell you that.

Love,  
Niall.x

Wait, Niall have diabetes? Why did he never told me and I have never seen him take his insulin shots. People with Diabetes do that right?

2/23/12  
Dear Liam,

I’m really sorry if I can’t answer to your calls or reply to your messages. It’s just getting harder for me everyday. I am admitted to a hospital right now and they don’t give me the food that I want to eat. Can’t they even make a dying person happy? Yes you’ve heard it right. I’m dying. My end is nearing and by the time that you’ve read this, I’m pretty sure I’m already dead. But please, you need to continue living okay? I don’t want you to mourn for me. Just think that I’m just in a faraway place, that you can’t see me but I’m just always here, in your heart. Love you.x

-Niall

Niall is dead? No, he can’t be. I haven’t even told him how much I love him. He could not leave me. He cannot do this to me. I need him so much. He must be joking but it can’t be right? I can feel the tears that are starting to form in my eyes. There’s still one letter, maybe he’d tell me this is just a prank right?

3/14/12  
Dear Liam,

So I always start with Dear Liam because you know, you’re dear to my heart. I don’t even know where to start but this would be the last letter. I had a hard time writing this one because of all these tubes connected to my body but well here I go….

Do you remember the first time we met when we were only 7 years old and I told you we’re going to be best friends? Well, it happened right? Then that time when we were 8 and one of our classmates called me something bad and you punched him on the face causing you and your parents to have a meeting with the teacher and you told them that you were just protecting me? Or that time when we were 10 and we went camping for the first time? I can state a lot unforgettable memories that we have but I can exactly remember the time when I realized that I am in love with you.

We were 13 yrs. old at that time and we were talking about our crushes. You told me that you have a crush on Danielle and 2 years later, the two of you had begun dating. You went to my house and told me that she is the perfect girl and there’s nothing you could ask for more. You told me that she finally said yes to you. The moment that you left, tears started to stream down my face. And that’s when I, Niall James Horan, realized that I am in love with you, Liam James Payne. Funny how we have the same middle name eh?

I never got the courage to tell you this but I love you so much Li, more than you’ll ever know. Remember that time when you gave me this dog tag that I have enclosed in this envelope? It was the best gift I have ever received but now, I’m giving it back to you. I don’t know what you’re going to do to it but I just want you to know that I never took off this dog tag. I asked my mother to take it off when I’m gone to put it inside the envelope which contains these letters as well.

Li, I’m tired. I need to go to sleep now and I know that I’ll be seeing you in my dreams. Oh and this sounds crazy but I had this dream where the two of us is a couple and you told me that you’re in love with me as well. Silly me to think that you’d ever return my feelings right? You’re in love with the lovely Danielle while I’m here hopelessly in love with you. By the way, don’t feel guilty for not returning my feelings because just being your best friend is enough for me. Thank you for everything and as much as I don’t want to end this letter, Goodbye. I love you Liam.

Always yours,  
Niall.x

PRESENT TIME.

It has been 7 years since he died. I have continued living and now, I’m married to another guy. I love him but not as much as I have loved Niall. He’s still my soulmate and everything. I know it’s unfair to do this to Zayn but he said that it’s okay. He said that he knows that he could never replace Niall from my heart and he’s okay with that.

“Daddy! Daddy! Look what Dad bought me!”

I heard my 3-year old son shouting while running with a new toy car in his hand.

“What did I say about running around the house?”

“You said not to. I’m sorry Daddy,” he gave me those puppy dog eyes.

“Don’t get mad at him love,” Zayn said while picking him up in his arms before giving me a kiss on the cheek.

“But you spoil him too much..”

“But what can I do? He needs these things, isn’t that right Niall?”

Yes, we have named him Niall. Niall James Payne-Malik. He resembles him a lot with his blue eyes and blonde hair. I expected Zayn to disagree with me when I have told him about naming him Niall but he told me that he’s okay with it.

R.I.P  
Niall James Horan  
September 13, 1993 – March 15, 2012  
You’ll always be remembered.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are very much appreciated. :)


End file.
